Is a short spell intended celibacy the secret to better sex? To breaking a mundane routine? Read Colleen Oakley’s story for the dish on what happens with 30 days of no nookie.

30 Days Without Sex

 When I told my boyfriend I wanted to give up sex for 30 days, he hooted with laughter. But the process was anything but funny.

“So when you say ‘no sex’ for 30 days, what does that mean, exactly?”

I’m on the phone with Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Sex Detox, which suggests stepping away from the hot stuff for a month to revive a sex life that’s grown yawn-inducing or otherwise “toxic.”

I wouldn’t call the sex I have with my boyfriend, Fred, “toxic”: We’ve had a healthy amount with lots of texture (from start-the-week-off-right sex to the Wednesday-night reconnectors to a few all-day Saturday sessions). But after a year-and-a-half, even a good thing can feel routine. Why not try something that promises to make sex better — even if it means not having it at all?

In his nearly 10 years of counseling bedroom-challenged couples, Kerner has found that taking sex off the table helps couples focus on aspects of the relationship they never paid attention to before. “Most things that happen — or don’t happen — during sex have nothing to do with sex,” he says. Read the rest.

(image from The Telegraph UK)

You may know Carla Bruni as a supermodel from the ’90s, a singer, from this month’s Vogue or as the wife of the president of France. Regardless, this woman who is perhaps the next Jackie O (postulates Vogue) has recently said she has slept with 15 men before her husband.Confident, beautiful, stylish, open, sane about her sexuality, and talented.

We can learn more from French women than how not to get fat.

Porn star and entrepreneur Belladonna (a Mormon who…found a different way) was in Australia no so long ago for an adult entertainment convention, which kicked off the day after the Pope was in town. With regards to the scandals the Catholic church has been privy to, she offered this compelling and controversial perspective on sex education for the clergy:“The Pope has indicated he might apologize to victims of sexual abuse and that is a positive thing to do,” Belladonna told the media, “but unless he follows up with some practical advice that addresses the sexual needs and desires of clergy, the problem will simply continue. Church clergy are at a crisis because they get no real street-level sex education but are expected to ply the streets to deliver their spiritual message.”

Any thoughts ladies?

I was going to review this Body Wax Massage Candle from Adam&Eve myself, but this comment on their website summed it up perfectly: I was intrigued by the visual for this massage candle, but when I got it, it exceeded my expectations! The creamy wax feels more like body butter, and when you light the candle, it turns into a warm oil that you can massage into your skin. My husband drizzled the stuff all over my body, and it didn’t feel waxy or sticky at all. It has a nice, sensual scent, and it doesn’t mess up your sheets. This is a truly wonderful product for a different kind of erotic massage. I think almost every woman would love it! Really gets you in “the mood.” Adam & Eve is fabulous!

The thing with massage candles is that you do have to let them cool down before you use them. One way to do this is to spoon the rather warm wax into your hand and let it cool as you rub your hands together. This also gets your digits slick and ready to work their magic. I’ve also noticed that massage oil candles have softer scents than traditionally scented candles (for those with sensitive noses).

I particularly enjoy the mango coconut scent this one has…like passion on the South Seas.

(Credit: JLC-Lara Porzak Photography) 

Ellen de Generes and Portia di Rossi to congratulate them on their wedding. (And, wow, I still think it’s amazing and appropriately wonderful of People magazine to treat gay hallmarks in their news pool the same as straight. Here’s to you!)

People wrote: Here come the brides! An ecstatic Ellen DeGeneres, 50, and longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi, 35 (both in custom-made Zac Posen designs), swapped “I do’s” during an intimate candlelit ceremony held at their L.A. home on Aug. 16. Getting married “is not something we’ve ever taken for granted,” says de Rossi. “That we get to do this, it means a lot.”

(image from the new Joy of Sex)

Here’s a depressing fact of the day, straight from the Kinsey Institute, a research center for gender, sex, and reproduction.

Contemporary women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts because they have so little uncommitted time.

Come on ladies…let’s make more time for ourselves. When the author of the newly re-released Joy of Sex says she’s glad she’s not 10 years younger because of all the pressure generations X and Y have…it’s time to take a hint and destress. From the Huffington Post:

“I’m glad I’m not ten years younger because there are an awful lot of pressures on young people: to look fabulous; to have a fabulous sex life,” Susan Quilliam, the author, says. “We’re living in a world where it’s important to achieve and whether we have a good sex life has become one of our measures of personal validity. Alex Comfort [the original author of the Joy of Sex] took the emphasis off achievement - that is one of the many things he got right.”

Look for the revised book in January 2009, or order it from Amazon UK Sept. 1.

(photo source)

In Sydney, Australia, they just set up “homophobia-free” zones and Hallmark, the traditionally conservative greeting card powerhouse, is making cards to celebrate same-sex, well, hallmarks. Seems like this year, gay is more than OK. Will the opposition get on that band wagon already?What will a homophobia-free zone be like?

“The move, passed by a vote of five to four, could allow City of Sydney Council to revoke late-night trading privileges for venues if their patrons commit homophobic abuse or violence, and require venues to include anti-homophobia measures in staff training and patron management.” (Reported by the Australian)

What are Hallmark’s cards like?

(image of her breasts as altered digitally for “King Arthur”) 

Thank you, Duchess, aka Keira Knightley. She, um, flat out refused to have her body altered in press images for her upcoming movie “The Duchess.” This duchess, like Knightley, was known for her vibrant beauty. So, when Keira put her foot down about digital distractions, small breasted women could let out a victory whoop: oot down.”She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state,” an insider said [as reported in the UK's Daily Mail]. “She is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered.”

Keira  herself said on Britain’s GMTV: “I would love to have [breasts]! I’m never going to get [them]. I’m naturally who I am.”

Speaking of teen crushes, when do you all think it’s the right time to talk to your teen about sex? My parents were always non-explicit and open about the weird questions that come up. I really appreciated that we never really had a sit down talk, but they took things as they came up and always bought age-appropriate books on the subject. I still laugh when I think of my mom dispelling sex myths like when a girl told me in 7th grade that when men had erections, their penises reaches below their knee and that’s why the upper division boys wore pants. Cue a trip to the bookshop and a book called “What’s Happening to My Body,” with a sub-chapter on boys. At what age did you/will you talk to your kids and how much will you disclose?

image courtesy curlywurlygurly.files.wordpress.com

Just throwing this one out there. I was browsing the magazines at my local supermarket and BOP magazine caught my eye.  I totally remember the hot, sweaty crushes I had on the young TV stars and boys with slicked hair that smiled at me from torn out posters…Ah, the adolescent thrill and rush! It was the first encounter with true passion I had as a girl…aside from horseback riding. I’m not sure what it can be compared to now: a real crush, breakfast in bed,  a good massage? Sometimes I think today I love my food processor with the same intensity as…Rider Strong back in the day.

What is your earliest heart-pounding memory?