Playboy Mansion a Dirty Hovel, Says Former Bunny

Former Hugh Hefner girlfriend Izabella St. James and model Jill Ann Spaulding have both dished on what exactly goes on inside the Playboy mansion, and it ain’t pretty, the Daily Mail reports.

In addition to Quaaludes-and-champagne-fueled nights out on the town and condomless sex parties during which babe after babe would take turns straddling Hef — who was artificially propped up by Viagra — the mansion was filthy, St. James, author of Bunny Tales, says.

Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homely [sic], the mattresses on our beds were disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.

…for some reason he insisted on creamy, white-coloured carpets. He liked the girlfriends’ rooms to look very girly, all white carpet and pink walls. It looked great at first, but with two dogs (most of the girlfriends had pets that lived in their rooms — I had two pugs), butlers delivering food, dirty shoes and occasional spillages, the carpet was grey and stained in a matter of months….

[The dogs] weren’t house-trained and would just do their business on the bedroom carpet. Late at night, or in the early hours of the morning — if any of us visited Hef’s bedroom — we’d almost always end up standing in dog mess.

It’s hard to say which is more disgusting: The octagenarian sex nights or the soiled carpets. Aspiring centerfold Spaulding also reported the unequivocal signal for “no sex with Hef”: leaving your pink pajama bottoms on tight, despite disapproval from the other women and Hef himself.

I was terrified. They were all looking at me, including Hef from the bed — just staring straight at me. I said firmly that I couldn’t join in.

Hef looked absolutely furious, and one of the girls hissed at me that I was disappointing him. I didn’t care. Hef’s face was like thunder but I was left alone.

After reading these accounts, I’m amazed that The Girls Next Door managed to make mansion life look so appealing…and clean. That’s TV for you, of course, but those E! editors and producers deserve Emmys.

[Daily Mail]