Marie Claire just ran a fantastic piece with beautiful photos profiling five women and the number of partners they slept with. Their stories are all fascinating, but no matter what your opinion of sex is, one thing is for sure: The number of people we have sex with depends on who we are as a person. There’s no right or wrong number for anyone.
I was, however, taken aback by something that was said by Beth, the woman who has had zero sexual partners and plans to wait until her wedding night to sleep with a man:
In a perfect world, I’ll marry a virgin, but if he’s the right guy for me, it ultimately won’t matter.
Ummmm, yes it freaking will. I admire her tenacity for sticking to her morals, but if you marry a man who is not a virgin when you have fetishized virginity for your entire life, it is going to eat you alive that he has slept with women who aren’t you. And if it doesn’t, Beth? My hat is off to you. Pre-marital virginity is — and she herself hit the nail on the head on this one — an ideal of perfection that simply doesn’t exist outside of extremely religious institutions or severe social disorders. I sincerely hope that she finds a virgin to marry and, most importantly, that she ends up happy.
Do you agree with me? Let me know in the comments!
Compared to my friends, I don’t think my “number” is high enough!! But I TOTALLY support Beth’s decision to stay strong. You go, gurrrl!!!
Thank you thank you, thank you!
I cried when I read this; it’s opened my eyes in so many ways and I only wish I had this information sooner. When I was younger I was sexually abused, and endured years of being told that I was abnormal and ugly down there. I spent the greater part of my life thinking that there was something wrong with me and have always been too afraid to ever see a gynecologist or even mention anything to my doctor. Now that I’ve seen what the healthy, if messy, cervix is like, I feel like so much has been made clear, like I can finally start fighting against my body and just accept how it’s supposed to work.
You cannot possibly know how much this means to me, I feel like a whole new person!
Thank you thank you, thank you!
I cried when I read this; it’s opened my eyes in so many ways and I
Interestingly enough, I’m on the same boat as Beth and we share exactly the same opinion when it comes to sex. I’m still a virgin… but the guy I’m falling for on opposite ends of the spectrum and yes… the fact that he’s been with many others does eat me alive… I don’t really know what to do. My head tells me to let go but the heart is aching and unwilling to let go… all the best for Beth.
I don’t have a “severe social disorder” nor am I bound by a religious institution and forced into celibacy.
I didn’t have sex until I met the man I am now married to. Remaining a virgin started as a decision based on religion (I am christian) and grew to mean more to me.
Not only was it a practical decision; no chance of unwanted pregnancy, no risk of std/hiv/aids ect. It was something that I wanted. Sex is an emotional connection and I wanted to wait until I found a man that I loved and trusted and knew that he would be a good fit for me.
I don’t care that my husband has slept with woman before he met me and that doesn’t eat me up. It is his past, it is part of who he is and I love him. This is like saying that you would resent your spouse because he used to be fat before you met him.
There are too many teen/unwanted pregnancies, disease and broken hearts to just go sleeping around with anyone. If you are using sex to fill a void in your life you are the one with social issues, not the virgins. If it is about the sex…well you don’t need a man to orgasm anymore..just saying….