Why do men cheat? Researchers and regular gals alike have pondered it for decades, but one woman who’s actually been a mistress — for more than one man, actually — thinks she has it all figured out.
Susan Jay, mistress of “men in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages” is the author of The House of Yes: An Erotic Memoir. So, according to Jay, why do men cheat? Is it that they want “appreciation“? Not exactly, she says.
“Here is the wild ride of confidential abuse I have been privy to: ‘She used to pop pimples on my back when we were making love,’ ‘If we had a party, she would show up 30 minutes late (also a timeline for nights out) and I would have to entertain or wait,’ ’I only got a blow job three times in our marriage — and the last time was the night before I was served with our divorce papers,’ or, my favorite, ‘Sex was so goddamn boring — I just couldn’t crack the code.…’ “
Depressing! So what was she fulfilling that their wives weren’t?
“The reason men love me?… Before I go to meet any one of my lovers, I have one thought in my mind: Please let me please him.”
Sounds good from the guy’s point of view. So if she’s a mistress, she must have some sexytime tips on how to make your (non-cheating) man happy, right? Here’s her surprisingly egalitarian advice:
“Between the sheets, there is one rule of thumb: A man is never really happy unless he feels that when he has made love to a woman, he has made her happy.… On Valentine’s night, do whatever you must to ensure that you, too, are going to enjoy the touch of the man you’ve chosen. Don’t let him get too drunk. Don’t forget to let him know that he’s better than anyone else at doing those little things he does to turn you on. Praise inspires— and men have been created to please us. Just reinforce the plan!”
Yes ma’am! Or madam, as it were.