Call it a sixth sense or woman’s intuition, but when we ladies feel that something just isn’t quite right with our spouse, it might be time to step in before emotional infidelity does. In her classic book Not Just Friends, the late author Shirley Glass tells readers how to nip cerebral cheating in the bud.
One of Glass’s nuggets of wisdom: “maintain appropriate walls and windows. Keep the windows open at home. Put up privacy walls with others who could threaten your marriage.”
At CNN.com, Dr. Ian Kerner outlined what Glass saw as three specific qualities of an emotional affair:
– Close friendship and emotional intimacy. An emotional affair often begins as friendship and gradually drifts into something more. While friendship alone isn’t enough to qualify as cheating, a feeling of shared closeness and understanding is the starting point for an emotional affair.
– Sexual attraction. An emotional affair is fueled by feelings of attraction between two people.
– Secrecy. Here’s where friendship and attraction cross the line into emotional cheating. In an emotional affair, each person stops sharing certain aspects of the friendship with his or her partner, and starts confiding more in the “friend” and less in his or her partner.
We never like to think about the possibility of our partner cheating on us, but it’s better to know the signs and act rather than sit idly by. Communicate with your spouse (especially sexually, even if it’s awkward at first), and put up those walls if needed!
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