If either you or your partner are worried about the other person leaving your relationship, it could affect your ability to enjoy yourself in bed. A new study from Deakin University examined the experiences of 127 individuals and found that neediness (or total lack of neediness) is related to problems with arousal and sexual satisfaction.
“The preliminary analysis showed that individuals who fear rejection or abandonment and value intimacy to such an extent that they become overly dependent on their partner, had higher levels of sexual dysfunction (i.e., with sexual arousal, lubrication, orgasm, and sexual satisfaction in women, and erectile function, orgasm, intercourse satisfaction, and overall sexual satisfaction in men),” [study author Christina] Stefanou said.
What about the opposite? Turns out that in women only, a fear of psychological closeness can mean dysfunction too:
“Similarly, individuals who experience discomfort with closeness and find it difficult to depend on their partner also had higher levels of sexual dysfunction (i.e., with sexual desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, pain, and sexual satisfaction in women, although no relationships were found with dysfunction in men).”
It can be hard to walk the line between codependence and complete independence, but if you find yourself veering toward either direction, try and course-correct. Your orgasms may depend on it!