Esquire Piece on Women Who Are Bad in Bed: Sexist or Funny?

Esquire magazine‘s annual Sex issue features a comely Agent Provocateur-clad Sofia Vergara on the cover…and a few personal essays inside, including one by writer Chris Jones that has inspired some fiery commentary.

The story, titled “Ladies: You’re Not as Good As You Think” makes more than a few sweeping generalizations about women’s sexual prowess:

The trouble is, most women act as though they’re sexual Olympians, as though they’re doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car. Some of you are deluding yourselves. Sex is not like pizza. Only blowjobs are.

Pro tip: The crush-grind is not the new up and down. Also: If your man goes down on you, the terror clamp is an inappropriate physical response.

Okay…noted? Especially because the sample size of women that Jones has taken for a test drive is obviously sprawling? And then there’s this:

I knew one poor girl who wouldn’t have sex from behind because she thought that meant anal. Like, maybe grab a mirror and spend some time learning how your own body works. It’s nice, too, when you don’t treat our semen like it’s battery acid.

Or perhaps it wasn’t clearly communicated to her what, exactly, you were proposing? Jones ends the piece with some advice about how women should tell their “eager” men what they want in bed (we agree with him there!). But does the tone of the article outweigh any larger point he’s trying to make?

At first, we were willing to place a tidy sum as a wager that Jones was dumped by one of these supposedly awful-in-bed chicks just before he sat down to write the piece. But he’s actually married. Which doesn’t necessarily mean happily, but still.

Sex educator Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., eviscerated Jones on the Huffington Post, saying, “Want to be a man that we’re enthusiastic about having sex with? Be sincere about our pleasure and our health. Stand up publicly and challenge the political war on our sexuality, on contraception and pleasure-based nonprocreational sex. Be the type of man who doesn’t judge a woman for not understanding why rear-entry sex and anal sex are not synonymous.”

But enough about what other people think. What do you think about the column? (Read the rest of it here.):

[Esquire]

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