New Tonight!: Emily Maynard as The Bachelorette on ABC

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Get ready for romance-themed pseudo-drama, impractical evening gowns, and guys with spray tans! ABC’s The Bachelorette is back tonight, with Southern belle/single mom/NASCAR widow/former Brad Womack fiancée Emily Maynard, 26, assuming the title role.

Will she be as unhinged and morose as Bachelorette Ashley Hebert ? Probably not. Will she be more boring? Yes. Plus, according to USA TODAY, the previous seasons of The Bachelorette will be no indicator of what we’re getting this time around — or so ABC says:

“Throughout the show, it was always that underlying issue of, she’s a mom and is this guy ready for that?” says [host Chris] Harrison. “It’s not about just hopefully finding love and a husband, it’s about finding a father figure to Ricki.”

He adds, “You don’t have the frat house humor and the frat house drama. Things have a much more serious tone and bigger issues. It’s not the superficial drama you’ve seen in seasons past.”

No superficial drama and fratboy antics? Waaaah! Our favorite tiffs were between The Weatherman and Craig M. on Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky‘s season. Now what will we have to look forward to? Oh, wait: contrived plot lines, soaring music, unnecessarily expensive excursions, and other ridiculousness that make this franchise so mockable. In other words, we’re grabbing our popcorn now.

If you want to follow us (meaning…me) on Twitter for more live-tweeted musings while the show is on, follow me at @jamiebeckman. And most importantly tune in tonight at 9:30 p.m. EST on ABC so we can dish about the show here on Sexcerpts later!

Follow Sexcerpts on Twitter!: @Sexcerpts_SK

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