Could porn consumption be related to a relationship’s health? A new study from the University of Florida surveyed more than 300 female college students and found that the more porn a man’s partner thought he viewed, the unhappier she was in their relationship compared to women who reported that their partners use porn infrequently.
The women polled, ages 18 to 29, reported having a variety of feelings about their partner’s porn habits, running the gamut from furious to fine with it. But women who felt their guy was a “porn addict” or used porn more frequently than “normal” reported having lower self-esteem and less satisfaction with their relationship and sex life.
Discovering explicit material on a partner’s computer “made them feel like they were not good enough, like they could not measure up,” [said study researcher Destin] Stewart.
But don’t sound the anti-porn alarm yet. As always, correlation does not imply causation, LiveScience reports:
But that doesn’t prove that porn necessarily caused the women’s self-esteem to drop. It’s a chicken-and-egg problem, Stewart said: Women whose partners watch a lot of porn might begin to feel more insecure. Or women who feel bad about themselves might seek out or stay with porn-loving guys more often than secure women.
Researchers also note that the couples surveyed were in relatively short-term relationships, rather than married-for-decades situations, which could have an impact on their feelings.
Also, it’s worth pointing out that the women surveyed were 29 and under, all the way down to 18, when attitudes about porn are still being formed. There’s a big difference between finding a suspect browser history with your starter boyfriend and first love whom you assumed was pure and untainted, like Prince Charming, and finding some dirty pictures on your longtime husband’s hard drive that may have been there since 1998. Meh.
Bottom line: Porn, like a lot of things, is neither inherently good nor bad. The problem comes when your expectations and your partner’s expectations don’t dovetail. Communication about your needs and his is key.
If you’re interested in female-friendly porn for you that’s less “porn-y” than the stuff you usually find online, check out one of our previous posts on the subject here.
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