How to Ask for More “You Time” in a Relationship

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You love your snugglebunny of a significant other and all, but let’s face it: Sometimes you just need a few hours alone to do the things that make you you: reading a novel, maybe, or listening to the awesome new Beach House album, or doing some serious flea market shopping. The Wall Street Journal tackles this topic and points out a few ways to get some more alone time without offending your partner:

First off, the article says, if you crave your space, don’t feel bad. Wanting some “me” moments is good for a relationship:

“When individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests, when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or relationship, that makes them happier and less bored,” says [Dr. Terri] Orbuch, author of the book “Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.” Space gives people time to process thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others. And the time apart gives partners something new to talk about. “Space brings excitement and novelty,” Dr. Orbuch says.

So, how do you get some of that sweet, sweet solo action? Here are our favorite tips from the story:

• Be specific. Say, ‘I need the afternoon to myself.’ Simply saying ‘I need space’ sends confusing signals.

• Explain why more space makes you happy, so your partner knows it’s not about him or her.

• No secrets. Tell your spouse what you did and with whom when you were away.

• Don’t get carried away. Too much space weakens your connection.

Sounds like a good plan to us. Read the rest of the WSJ article here!

[Wall Street Journal]

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