It’s always a good thing when your partner wants to please you, but if you’re not loving his technique when he goes downtown, the very thing that’s supposed to blow your mind can be a bit of a buzzkill. So how do you take oral sex from “okay, I guess” to “yes, yes, yes”? We chatted with Shanna Katz, author of the new book Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind, who shared her advice on how you can make the experience the best you’ve ever had — no new partner required!
“Don’t feel like you have to get into some fancy schmancy position to get good head,” Katz says. “Relax; use pillows to prop up your head, hips, or whatever feels the best for you. If you want to lie on your back with your knees open, go for it. If you prefer being on your knees with your partner coming from behind, enjoy. There is no ‘perfect’ position for receiving cunnilingus.”
2. Hold ‘em still.
“Sometimes, your partner is so eager to try out all of their superb new skills that they are moving here, there or everywhere right, or wrong,” Katz says. “Tell them to hold their tongue and mouth in one place while you move your hips around to figure out the sweet spot. Once you find it, let them know, and they’ll have a little better direction for dining out at the Y.”
“Make sure your partner is trying just one technique at a time, then let them know your thoughts,” Katz says. “Not everyone is going to love every technique; that is why there are so many of them to try! Have them do the alphabet (upper case, block letters), and give them feed back. Then have them flatten their tongue for some licks, and let them know how it felt. Then have them rock around the clock, and give them some yays or nays.”
“If you’re not letting them know what feels amazing versus what is only so so, then they are just going to keep switching it up, which can become maddening.”
4. Lube is love!
“Lubrication makes all touch feel better, both outside on the lips, clitoris, and hood and inside the vagina, whether you’re using fingers, tongues, or toys,” Katz says. “It helps reduce friction, and any testing of your own will probably demonstrate that vulvas prefer slippery, slidy sensations to those that produce friction and drag. Lube can help transmit sensations better and can also reduce the amount of work to be done by the person performing oral sex and manual stimulation. Also, if you’re using fingers or toys in the vagina, using lube will help prevent or reduce soreness, as well as prevent tearing of the delicate vaginal tissue. Anyway you look at it, lube is pretty amazing.”
Buy Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind here!
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