The “right” way to teach children about sex is a hot-button issue, and one of the latest headlines involves a widely criticized pro-abstinence Tennessee sex education law commonly referred to as the “no holding hands” bill: Educators are prohibited from promoting “gateway sexual activity,” according to the law, but lawmakers can’t define what, exactly, that activity is. Inspired by that news, a recent article by Pittsburgh rabbi Shais Taub on the Huffington Post provided some thought-provoking commentary on how we think of sexual activity.
Here’s a snippet:
Contrary to the opinion of the well-meaning legislators in Tennessee, there’s no such thing as “gateway sexual activity.” Holding hands doesn’t lead to sexual behavior. Holding hands is sexual behavior…
I respect what they were trying to accomplish in Tennessee, but allow me to humbly suggest that if the pro-abstinence camp wants to really make a difference, what they need to do is go home now and teach their own teenage sons and daughters how powerful a force their own sexuality is and that the power of sexuality is not limited to one very specific mechanical act. Sexuality can be holding hands; it can be a smile; it can be a glance.
As an aside, it baffles me when I see how culturally acceptable dating is among religious Christians who preach abstinence. I find it remarkable that you can you tell a teenaged boy and girl that it’s alright to act like boyfriend and girlfriend in every way — emotionally, socially, yes even physically — but just make sure you don’t end up crossing the line.
It’s a fresh, smart perspective for sure.
According to the Associated Press, Tennessee’s teen pregnancy rate has steadily dropped since abstinence-only curriculum was instituted in the 1990s. What isn’t as lauded: The state’s teen pregnancy rate is among the highest in the nation.
This country’s children and teens need comprehensive sex education, including accurate, unbiased information about how to prevent pregnancy and STIs, especially in our culture, which glorifies the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend and where 60 percent of young adults harbor incorrect ideas about how birth control works.
For more information on how to talk to your kids about sex, read our vintage Sexcerpts post Study: Parents Want to Teach Kids About Sex.
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