If we’ve learned anything from culinary and fashion-design reality TV show competitions, it’s that playing it “safe” will never truly showcase your talents. The same goes for dating and relating to your man, says stylist Dimitri James, author of Naughty Makeovers for Nice Girls and CEO of Skinn Cosmetics. We chatted with James to get his best tips for taking your overall allure from shrinking violet to va-va-voom, all with the goal of creating a satisfying romantic life for you.
Sexcerpts: You say that “naughty” falls squarely between “nice” and “trashy.” What does a “naughty” gal look like, and why is striking that balance so important?
James: “A naughty girl knows the power of suggestion. She knows how to put the whole package together with her hair, clothing and makeup, while looking and feeling confident and sexy. The naughty girl knows whom and what she wants, and goes and gets it.
“We all know that when you feel self-confident and turn heads you feel more powerful and behave powerfully. Channeling your inner naughty girl isn’t really a monumental task. It does require a shift in mindset, but there are small, surprising things you can do to jump start the process. It might be as simple as letting down the ponytail and fluffing out your hair, trading flats for some great heels or wedges, merely tightening your bra straps, or slipping on a seductive pair of sunglasses.”
If a traditionally conservative woman wants to naughty herself up for a dinner date, what should she do?
“She should still stick with her little black dress, perhaps just make it a little shorter. Also, she can flirt things up with some really high heels and go brighter with the lipstick — men love lipstick.”
Naughty vs. Nice on a Date
What’s a fun question a woman can ask to spark an intelligent, scintillating conversation?
“‘Who was your first crush on?’ ‘What’s your favorite dessert, and do you like having dessert before or after romance?’ ‘If you could have a date with a celebrity, who would you choose? Where would you take them to impress them? What does your perfect date night look like?’”
If a woman wants to turn up some serious heat in the bedroom, what do you suggest?
“The real secret is to find out what your mate’s fantasies are. Does he like sheer and sexy? Feminine and babydoll? Or does he prefer it a bit more Fifty Shades of Grey? It all depends on getting into the other person’s head and figuring out what turns them on.
“Unless, of course, it’s just for you-then wear something that feels sexy and makes you feel pretty. Remember, white, pink, black, and red are sexy lingerie colors.”
Naughty vs. Nice at Home
Are there any times, romantically, when it pays to be “nice” rather than “naughty”?
“Yes, if you’re visiting his parents and you’re in the bedroom next door.”
For more tips on how to bring out your inner naughty girl, buy the book here!
Illustrations by Meghann Powell
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