Feminist author Naomi Wolf says a fantastic orgasm given to you by your partner doesn’t just feel good — it unleashes a chain of sensations that makes life worth living, according to her new book Vagina: A New Biography. What kinds of feelings, exactly? Read on:
“The healthy, sexually well-treated vagina regularly delivers a strong activation of dopamine to the female reward system, as well as surges of oxytocin for connection, and opioids that drive the sensations of joy,” she writes.
“[It] delivers to women the feelings that lead them to want to create, explore, communicate, conquer and transcend.”
What made Wolf, who has written before about the demands our looks-obsessed culture places on women in The Beauty Myth, so interested in the O? After her own orgasms diminished in power, she discovered she had a spinal compression and then learned about the neural pathway beginning at the vagina, traveling through the spine, and finishing at the brain.
So how can a man (or woman) treat a lady right and uncover that all-powerful orgasm? (It’s a laundry list Wolf calls the “Goddess Array.”) We’ll bet you already knew this:
There is, it seems, a pulse in the vagina that beats harder when men prove themselves to be caring, even in little ways like pulling out a chair or changing the cat litter. Take out the garbage, and listen for it.
Women need “preparatory tributes or gestures,” like flowers or a seductive setting, to heighten orgasm. Females crave deep soul gazes and long bouts of stroking. Cuddles and hugs are good. Oh, “talk to her, listen to her.” And really, don’t rush her.
Sadly, masturbation doesn’t seem to offer these same world-conquering powers, Wolf says. (Damn.) But, in the absence of a human to bring out your inner goddess, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun trying to give yourself a mind-blowing O. Check out a few vintage Sexcerpts posts about finding your perfect inanimate partner:
Meet the Toyfriend: A Sleek Vibrator with a New Name
Found! Your New Favorite Vibrator: Je Joue MiMi
Get Ready: May is National Masturbation Month (A Beginner’s Guide to Vibrators)
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