12 Lays of Christmas: The Perfect Holiday Gift for Him

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Know what gift most men (and women) will never be disappointed by? Sex. To make the 12 Lays of Christmas gift (there’s nothing wrong with planning this far in advance), all you need is a printer and a box of chewing gum. Budget-friendly and creative!

The gist is: You print out the cards from the Love Actually budget blog, and, using a 12-pack of gum as a visual cue, you gift your partner 12 “rolls in the hay,” each with a different theme based on the holiday tune “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Two examples:

“Lay One: Tonight calls for a partridge in a pear tree, But that’s just not romantic, you see. So how about some pear body scrub in a tub. Then you and me can rub a dub dub!”

“Lay 12: Tonight calls for 12 drummer drumming, But you are the man who’s got me succumbing, So take this ticket for a private concert, you see, Instead of a drum, you can bang on me!”

The best part: There are blank cards, so you can customize them to your partner’s sexual preferences. True, the design looks a little like a birth control pack, and the grammar isn’t quite perfect, but as they say, it’s the thought that counts.

[Love Actually]

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