It’s an age-old question: Is it really possible for heterosexual members of opposite genders to have a truly platonic friendship? (In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal famously said no, “the sex part always gets in the way.”) A new survey from online friendship and dating network Skout says most Americans say yes.
The survey, of more than 2,500 heterosexual U.S. residents age 18 and older, found this:
• 86% of Americans think men and women can truly just be friends, women more so than men.
And it’s possible that it’s youngsters and men who are more narrow-minded about gender-mixing and friendships: Adults age 55 and older are more likely to agree that guys and gals can be “just friends” than than people age 18–34, and women are more likely than men to say they can be just friends with the other gender.
Here’s the raw data:
“Those ages 55+ (91%) are significantly more likely to indicate this than those ages 18-34 (83%) or 35-44 (78%). Those ages 45-54 (87%) are also significantly more likely to indicate this than those ages 35-44. Women (88%) are significantly more likely to indicate this than men (83%).”
We say: Cheers to having friends, no matter what shape, size, age, or gender they are! We love that Americans are looking past the superficial and focusing on each other’s character.
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Oh god yes. I never had any sexual feelings for my male buds, they never got all gushy on me. either we all have mental problems, I can’t read clues, or someone was broken on the other end.
then again this is all about being teens. boys and girls can easily be pals. but when you have a life that is like the ones people have in sitcoms, or you have a bout of lovelorn bipolar and are so lonly you just think you have sexual feelings for ‘your bro’.
always in a heterosexual bromance, never a romance.
all my male buds growing up, we never had anything. maybe I should of had feelings. then they would never of left me when they fell in love. I was no longer a nessesity on their life.
either that or every woman is a slut and wants to have sex with her male friends, and I’m a gray-ace.
It’s always funny to read the female view on this. As able as women are to multi-task — and I do believe they’re better at it — they can’t imagine anything but one track or the other for a male-female relationship. Either we’re friends or we’re “on” for a dating. Or so they often claim.
But the male view, I assure you, is not that… and more akin to what Harry mentions in the car with Sally. As in, if she’s empirically attractive, men see her as a sex object. They may ALSO see her as a good friend. But guaranteed, her physical charms are neither missed nor ignored.
The idea of a guy who can hang with his babe of a best buddy… and simply treat her like one of the guys… is movie fantasy. If he’s married, he still sees and registers her gorgeousness. And thinks about it when she isn’t there. This doesn’t mean he’ll act on it or doesn’t care for the other women or his life OR doesn’t care for his female friend as a friend.
It just means he’s programmed to have his libido switch on when there’s an attractive female around… and that’s that. Somehow this strikes some women as wrong or threatening, but it’s just nature at work. Again, it doesn’t mean he’ll act on it. But the impulse is there… even more than there.
Any guy who tells you otherwise is the real one who can’t be trusted… because he’s lying to you.