A recent Daily Beast video featuring author Christopher Ryan explained that, in the primate world, a female monkey’s moans during sex can contain a wealth of information about social status (hers, her male partner’s, and even that of the females nearby) and other situation-specific trivia. But what about humans? Why do we overhear women’s pleasure squeaks more often than we do men’s grunts?
In a post about the video above on his blog, dating coach Evan Marc Katz posited that women are louder in bed than men because they’re verbally (or non-verbally) guiding them toward the moves that work and away from those that don’t:
Women are louder during sex because they HAVE to be.
a) If a woman makes noise during sex, it signifies that a man is doing something right and should therefore keep doing it. Her moans and screams are therefore an act to maximize her own pleasure during sex.
b) If a woman doesn’t make ANY noise during sex, it signifies that a man is doing everything WRONG. In other words, a woman’s silence is the ultimate confidence killer in the bedroom. By letting your partner know he’s pleasing you, it provides him not only a roadmap to continue, but the confidence and joy of knowing that he’s a good lover. Refusal to make noise makes him feel all but impotent.
We’d throw in that there’s a certain amount of cultural conditioning that goes on regarding what we, as women, are supposed to look like and sound like during sex. Female porn stars are often comically loud, and even mainstream films show women writhing and moaning precisely when the simultaneous, scripted magic moment happens.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being a screamer, of course. Women who are shy might find it easier to moan, conveying that she’s having a good time, when her guy doing something right rather than give him a verbal list of instructions to follow in order to please her.
What do you think? Is Katz right? Or is there another factor at play?
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