Not everyone’s sex drive is “push to start,” as the song goes. But that can be improved. In a two-part series featuring the expertise of Dr. Susan Kellogg, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Drexel University College of Medicine in Philadelphia (among many other titles), the New York Times dispensed some useful advice on women’s sexuality, including how ladies can find their sex drive again if they feel their libido waning.
We loved this tip from Dr. Kellogg about how to rekindle the passion in a relationship:
Many women I see in my clinic are really good at maintaining very complex lifestyles, but they tell me that they have no time for sex with their partner. These same women never miss a child’s soccer game, a monthly planning meeting for work, a yoga class with a friend — whether they are tired or not.
They mark these activities on their calendars and smartphones, and prioritize them. Sexually connecting with a partner, whether it’s through intercourse or some other intimate behavior, really takes a similar type of commitment. And in reality, the commitment is not a major one. For most couples, sexual intercourse can take less than 15 minutes, once a week. Even if one or both members of the couple feel tired or “not into it” at the beginning, they usually find that if they set aside time to “play,” they end up relaxing into the moment and enjoying their time together. Couples also report that for days after they have been together, they seem to get along better, communicate better and have an ease about them that even their children notice. This sexual vitality soon starts to become the basis for sexual motivation, and that translates into sex drive.
That’s doable advice if we’ve ever heard it. You heard the woman: Schedule a weekly sex date and have fun.
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