Think of your life. Now think of this guy’s. Now think of how much worse your life could be. Gerard Streator, 47, of Waukesha, Wa., was picked up by the police when they “spotted someone who appeared to be having sex on a yellow couch that had been abandoned on a street curb” of a residential neighborhood, according to the Smoking Gun and LiveScience.
But, please, tell us more, even if it’s out of pure curiosity, as to how the events went down (so to speak):
[W]hen the officer got closer to the couch, he saw that Gerard Streator, 47, was quite alone and his hips appeared to be “thrusting up and down on the couch,” according to the official criminal complaint. The officer quickly deduced that Streator was “trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.”
Streator ran but was later tracked down at the hotel where he works. Let’s go through that again. He works. At a hotel. Where many people choose to have intimate relations out of full view of the public. We can’t speak for what was going on in Gerard’s mind that night, but we’re guessing the option to go home and see about his own couch (if you know what we mean) was just not as an appealing an idea!
This reminds us of our popular sex-in-public story that should serve as a warning for anyone looking forward to Spring Break 2013: 6 Crazy places to have sex.
No matter what, always carry a condom wherever you go, folks. Maybe — perhaps even especially — for strange couches.
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