Sex and and relationships are two very good things, don’t get us wrong, but we love to laugh about them too. Currently amusing us: The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm: Sex and Relationships: A Lexicon for Those of Us Who Are Getting Some…and Are Smarter About It Than Everyone Else, by writer/performer James Napoli, out this month.
Here are a few of our favorite tongue-in-cheek (or would it be tongue-in-ahem, elsewhere) definitions:
In Flagrante:
Also in flagrante delicto. Caught in the act of having sex. For those caught that way, the experience can be embarrassing. For those who bear witness to this act it can be traumatizing (one’s parents), sickening (one’s roommate), or actually quite compelling (one’s neighbors).
831:
A text abbreviation for I Love You. This is culled from the idea that the phrase has “eight letters, three words, and one meaning.” Obviously, this shorthand was developed by a young person who has not yet discovered that the phrase I Love You actually has about a hundred meanings, and that none of them are very savory in the end.
Mata Hari:
A Dutch exotic dancer and femme fatale who was accused of spying for Germany during World War I and was later executed in France for the crime. Let this be a lesson to you, ladies: seduction = good; seduction + treason = bad.
Got it: No treason! Good to have a reminder of that every now and again.
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