Sometimes I thank my lucky stars I have a man who doesn’t flinch when that stray black chin hair needs to be plucked or when I give myself a mani-pedi. But would I ever let him see me do my own bikini wax? No way. Even coupled, bikini waxing is my secret single behavior that will always be with me. My secret single behavior (SSB): I get out a good mirror, a bright lamp, heat up the wax, put something on the telly to distract me and have at it. Needless to say, bikini wax night tends to turn into full-blown pampering night for me from face masks to foot filing…and is the only time of the slightly-more-than-a-month where there is an absolute ban on the man. She Knows’ intrepid sex reporters got a bunch of girls to dish on there secret single behaviors.

Check out Briane: Brianne, a PR powerhouse, owns up to her SSB without hesitation. “Once a week (when I’m alone), I put on thick overnight foot and hand cream, and gloves and socks to bed. Super sexy!”

Click here for for more…and while you’re at it…tell me what your SSBs are!

Office romance: It feels so right and wrong! With Americans spending over 50 hours a week in the office, no wonder people are hooking up at work. So many questions come up when you start to feel all a-flutter about your co-worker. Is this because of a power dynamic? Am I mixing up working well together with intimacy? Will I compromise my position/perception in the office? Will I compromise his? Should it be public? Office romances are fraught with many things, but SheKnows got down with Helaine Olen, co-author of the book Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding and Managing Romance on the Job to talk about this very subject.

Margeax Baulch asks her all the right questions. Take it away MB:

SheKnows: Interoffice dating has received such a bad rap over the years. What are the advantages? Why do people do it?

Helaine Olen: Office dating replicates the old-fashioned courting rituals of 100 years ago. You get to know someone slowly over a period of time and it allows you to notice the subtle traits that indicate whether that person would make a good partner or not. Meeting someone at a bar, you are forced to rely on first impressions that aren’t always correct. You might reject someone because you don’t like their t-shirt.

A: People aren’t always honest online. At work, you can see what other people think of him and probably human resources did some screening as well. Also, if you are sifting through 200 profiles online, you are dealing with a lot of information up front. Just because you like jazz music and he likes rap doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. 

Read the rest. 

When guys meet you, what do they see? A buddy? A one night stand? The love of their life? Or a potential girlfriend? After reading these tips, you may discover that the reason you are single/in a reltaionship has a lot to do with the signals you’re sending out. Send out your messages straight and reel in a great catch. (By the way, here are 3 places to find your next boyfriend.)
Be a good listener. Not only to be love to be truly heard, but this will give you great hints on how he likes to be cared for, what his interests are, etc., giving you extra info on him and you r compatibility.

Be considerate and caring. You can’t call all the shots and all conversations will not revolve around you, for one. Second, treating him to a b-day dinner or sending a sweet card when he gets a promotion, or just because, shows him that you care.

Be open to his suggestions, make suggestions of your own. Give and take is the name of the game in relationships. Also, when you do the g&t, it gives you a chance to see if you enjoy yourself with him. Giving suggestions shows you are engaged and allows him to find out more about  you. The more intimacy you build, the more ways he can fall in love with you.

Value yourself and your independence as much as his. Being your own person, not clingy, shows him that you are a secure and confident girl, so the attention you give him is more valuable. You won’t just hold hands at the movies and flirt over dinner with anybody.

Watch what you say. Playing that game where you devalue yourself verbally with a “Really? You want to go out with me?” or “Friday. I’m busy.” (and don’t suggest and alternate date time) attitude may just tell him you’re a-not interested or b-you don’t want to date.  Also, if you say stuff like “I’m not really into relationships right now,” and you really mean “I’d like to go out with you, but I’m in a vulnerable place,” best be honest and go for the second one. Then at least he knows to take it slow…and if he doesn’t…is he the right one?

I just found this super quiz on dating. Hope you all find it spiffy cool.

The Dating Game

By Margeaux Baulch

Every woman has several different sides to her personality, but when it comes to relationships, which one is running the show? The heart-breaker? The romantic? The crazy, crying nut? to reveal just who your love-struck alter-ego is.

I’ve mentioned Craiglist adventures before and the “Casual Encounters” world of one-night-stands continues to fascinate me. I stumble upon this article written by two middle-aged women who both were fans/frequenters of the Casual Encounters page, discovering casual sex is sometimes anything but. Here’s a list about “Hook Up Central” that they devised, summing it up (Remember your condoms!):

1) A lot of men want to screw Sarah Silverman. (Three lovers told Lily the potty-mouthed comedian was their “fantasy fuck.”)

2) With ads for people over forty, add at least five years and ten pounds to the photo. That way, when the older and heavier date shows up, you won’t be as disappointed. This rule is as applicable to men as it is to women.

3) Men have a tendency to overreport the number of sex partners they have had. Women underreport.

4) You better have a good memory if you want to date a lot. In case you don’t, call everybody “honey” to avoid mix-ups and make a cheat sheet on each with the name of their dog, their favorite movies, wines, and sexual positions. Failure to take notes will make pillow talk a minefield. If you are compulsive, go ahead and make a chart.

5) Promise little, deliver much.

Romance. Make it about him for a minute. Here are a few tips on how to create a date that is certified man-friendly.

1. Food for him. You may be on a raw diet, but as a boyfriend tired of my endless line of veggie dishes and California salads once said, “I’m male. I need real food and lots of it.” Suggest a steakhouse, order pizza, order take out, or cook something hearty in LARGE quantities. I suggest Austrian or German food. Nothing like schnitzel and roasted potatoes and beer to put a smile on his face.

2. Go outside. Get dirty on the field, swing on the green, or roll around in the sand. Doing something active will do wonders for your playfulness. Nothing like an “Anything you can do I can do better” competition.

3. Slum it. You can hold a cue stick and hold your own against those barflies. Take him to your local dive or sports bar man haven. He’ll be happier than puppy when you scratch him between the ears.

4. Create a boudoir of love. Pamper him for a night with mattress related activities where you are clad in sexy lingerie. Phrases like “rent a movie” and “take out” are key operatives.

This is your Friday after school special on “How to Flirt.” This video is surprisingly straightforward with basic, easy to follow tips. The Aussie voice over adds a bit of kitsch. When you’re done watching, maybe it’s one to pass on to the little sis or the daughter?

Are we really romantics, or is it just a really, really good marketing ploy for the travel, restaurant, novelty, jewelry, and entertainment industries? Certainly men can feel a great deal of pressure to shoulder all the romance in a relationship. (We’re supposed to be on the receiving end of these things, right?) On the other hand, haven’t we been fighting for equality? By default, doesn’t that mean we should take on our fair share of the romance quotient in our relationship?In that sense, what does romance mean? It’s really just about showing your loved one that you care about them, appreciate them, and that you value them for who they are. (Romance sounds a little like being a good BFF in that sense.) Also, this means that romance can be as simple as a text message letting your partner know you care, a home-cooked meal, or a sensuous massage.

And as they say, when you start to give of yourself, you get it back in spades. No more excuses for an unromantic relationship! Do your share and the rest will follow! (And if it doesn’t and that’s a problem for you communicate and re-evaluate.)

Happy Loving!

The wild world of online dating…for all the beasts in the jungle, there are for sure a number of loyal stallions worthy of your love. But how can one find such a creature?The first step is creating your profile to really reflect you. SeXXXyMamacity69 is just never going to attract her Mr. Big, now, is she?

I suppose, number one would be “choose a username that suits you.” WantstohaveBabies36 is probably going to be off-putting,  but something related to your profession or your interests might fly well. If you like hiking, why not TrailMiss? Cheesy, cute, silly. Sounds like an approachable gal.

Next,  apparently, when you have a picture up, your hits go up by like 15 percent. So, choose a pic that will attract the kind of man you are looking for. Go ahead and flatter yourself with a good image, but keep it real, natural, and in a setting that says a lot about you, but not too  much (for privacy reasons, you may not want pictures of your home and what not, but a cozy photo in an armchair wouldn’t hurt). [Apparently, the woman in my mind is a nature-loving, no-nonsense bookworm with a love for updated shabby chic…adjust your profile accordingly ;)] . If you can put up more than one photo, why not let each one tell a bit about you. 25 MySpace-pout shots just don’t really say more than Paris Hilton did with her album.

Lastly, when writing your profile, think of unique details that describe you. How will you set yourself apart? Will it be in your writing style? The vocabulary you use? Unique interests and adjectives? A good rule of thumb is “The first thing you write will be cliche. Toss it out. The second will be better, but still a little generic. The third one, you’ve had to work for, so it’ll probably be the most original.” Be yourself.

And of course, ladies, safety safety safety. Be safe. Don’t give away personal contact info or life details that people who have things that aren’t love in their hearts could use to find you, harass you or other unpleasant realities of this old world. Here are online dating dos and donts.

A single friend/dog lover just found herself a lovely Mr. Right…but she’s noticed that her dogs don’t seem to be jiving with her honey as well as she’d like to see. I found this helpful article from Susan McCullough on dogchannel.com on how he can earn your pups’ trust. For her summarized tips, see below.

“People’s misunderstanding of dog behavior is so massive,” says animal behaviorist Nancy Williams, who’s from Manchester, Md. “Many dogs are easily frightened or shy. They might cower or hide from a new person entering the home. And hugging between people can make such dogs especially anxious.”

Still, owners in search of mates can help their dogs accept new human companions. Here’s what Williams recommends:

1. Meet somewhere else. Dogs may feel more comfortable meeting new people when they aren’t on their home turf. “Meet the new person in a neutral place such as outdoors, and then walk into your home together,” Williams suggests.

2. Put the dog somewhere else. Sometimes, meeting outdoors or on other neutral turf isn’t feasible — for example, if your visitor arrives during a rainstorm. In such cases, Williams suggests having your visitor enter your home while your dog is in another room, in his crate — if he’s crate trained — or in a gated area away from your front door.

3. Provide a diversion. Dogs who are anxious about new visitors may respond to diversionary tactics that help them forget their anxiety. “Have the visitor drop treats around the dog to distract him,” Williams says. “Or have your dog sit, and reward him for that.”

4. Let the dog make the first move. Williams cautions new beaus and household members against reaching for the dog, even to allow the dog to sniff a hand. “Friendly behavior does not require a hand sniff,” she says. “Don’t try to force the dog to be friends with someone new in the house. The dog will decide when he’s ready to be friends.”

5. Be patient. Some dogs need time before they’ll allow themselves to make a new human friend. “It can take months for a dog to get used to a new person,” Williams says.