When in L.A., visit Polyester, and explore the eccentric side of downtown! This wonderful and unexpected gem of a bookstore, totally excites me: Books on vintage erotica, unusual fetishes, sexploitation, erotic subculture and a gallery that specializes in vintage and contemporary photography. When I first wandered into this store, I didn’t want to leave because I couldn’t put down this book on Sex Machines by Timothy Archibald. Mondo bizarre!

Not quite an accurate demonstration on the art of spanking, none the less, this Japanese girl get’s a good spanking! For a good introduction to the world of kink, read this article. Looking for a proper paddle? Check out AdamEve.com’s paddle of choice here!

So, let’s put that plug to use! Here are the prime positions: missionary and doggie. And this is the way to go: make sure that you have plenty of lube and enoough time for foreplay. Whenever engaing in anal, you want to warm up that area considerably so that it is loose and lubricated. Slide it in early on and have sex as usual. You or he may want to give the plug a jiggle or fumble, according to how you respond to anal stimualtion. Have fun, you naughty minx.

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Something new for couples from that delightful shop, Coco de Mer that appeals to both your erotic and political voice, the Bondage for Freedom kit. A personal favorite of mine, the kit contains wrist ties made from 100% silk in black and a 100% silk black blindfold which is embroidered in orange, with the words, “The only real freedom is freedom from fear”.

Bondage for Freedom is the newly created non-profit section of Coco de Mer. All the profits from the sale of this product is donated to charity.

But what good is being blind folded without the release of some endorphins right? Try the “Ostrich Feather and Black Whip” also by Coco de Mer. Build up the intensity with this sexy riding crop and use the feather to build anticipation, swishing it between the legs. It feels fantastic!

Spanking not included.

Is this a fear tactic, reaching back to childhood face-painting trauma? Nope. It’s a truly hap-happy way to help raise funds for multiple sclerosis: a naked clown calendar brought to you by the students of San Francisco’s Clown Conservatory Class (a real place).

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 In “When Sex Play Goes Wrong,” Sean Thomas of the Independent UK writes about the thin line between lust and disaster when the boundaries of consent are ignored. Here are 3 Don’ts and one Do I gleaned from the article when pushing the boundaries of your bedroom life.

1. Don’t mix drinking and drugs with sex. Drinking will seriously impair your good judgment and ability to engage in forms of sexual play such as BDSM.

2. Respect your partner’s boundaries (or there’ll be no rules to govern how you evolve in the bedroom)

3. Don’t forget to talk to each other (check-in and make sure your partner is okay with the direction and intensity of your new experience)

4. Most importantly, as Thomas writes, “We need to rebalance our sexual attitudes. We don’t have to go back to being prudes; we don’t have to electrocute deviants. But we do need to teach our children respect, for the unique, intense, and sometimes very dangerous pleasures of human sexuality.”

Read the rest of the article here.

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BDSM and a Vanilla Partner

By Nala

 The above article is a great guide for those who’ve had a kinkier fantasy life (or real life) and have a partner who is less experienced in that respect.

Nala advocates easing a partner in to kinkier ways, and comes to this conclusion:

No matter how you bring the message, most important is to keep in mind that you are already halfway down the road you want to walk together. Walking that road together, discovering the wonderful world that’s called BDSM, means you’ll have to give your partner the space and opportunity to discover it at his/her own pace; finding out what it can do for the both of you and your relationship. You live long enough to spend some months together on this. Your patience will be paid back when you give your partner the opportunity to accept his/her feelings about BDSM.  Read the full article for an extended discussion on the topic.

This is one of the friendliest intros to kink that I have found. Horray for blogger Auntie Mabel at “Head.” Here’s what’s written on this blog and a link to the rest of the article:“The last bastion of non-monogamous romance can be found in the least likely place: kink, the dark horse of the romantic world. Like Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club, you may think kink is weird and off-putting, but when given a chance, turns out to be cool and pretty sexy. The thing that makes S+M special is that it forces you to be present, both mentally and physically, during sex. It’s more about being super connected to your partner and trusting them than getting off. Getting into kink will remind you that sex should not be a selfish thing, but a mutual give and take in order to make each other feel good. It’s everything a positive relationship should be, plus badass accessories. So, as promised, a basic crash course into the world of BDSM.”  Read the rest.

Adam & Eve has put together an easy page full of “bad ass” “starter bondage items, from accoutrements to apparel. The items range from fun to Oh my! (see below). If you’re into dressing up naughty more than shackles and whips, they have a delightful selection of fantasy lingerie.

Fun

Oh My!

Well, even if the documentary says Brits suck in bed, Dita von Teese, recently voted hottest garter and stocking wearer, loves the kinky limeys.She said: “The British are really quite kinky. I love being in London because it has a great heritage of burlesque. One of the great pioneers at the turn of the last century was a group called Lydia Thompson and Her British Blondes.

“They were the first girls to wear fishnet tights and lift their skirts and, by all accounts, they were very sexy in their G-strings.”
But she likes the simple pleasures in bed:

“I like vanilla sex as much as the next girl. Sometimes when I date men, they feel they have to put on a show. I’m like, ‘Stop trying so hard to impress me with your sexual perversions.’

“Sometimes I do like bondage and spanking, and, I think a lot of people, if they were honest, would say, ‘Yeah, that sounds fun.’ “