Aren’t you glad this aren’t didn’t start out “5 ways to put the ‘ho’ in hohoho”? I was tempted… as it’s that time of year where the puns sound punnier, the sweaters more elaborate, and normally cheesy sentiments fill everyone with good cheer. So let’s take all that happy holidays and the spirit of giving and put it into the bedroom, shall we? There’s no reason eggnog should be the only thing full of spice!

1.’Tis the season for a quickie!

Between family obligations and Secret Santa sneakiness, sex may be the last thing on your naughty or your nice list. On the nice side, bust out your organizer and pencil in some alone time with your man. For the busiest of the busy, the bedroom may be out of the question. Get naughty by stealing cheeky kisses, squeezes, and more while wrapping presents, just before the folks turn up for dinner, well, whenever the fancy strikes! Read the rest.

Sexperts Em and Lo tackle female ejacultion with finesse. Enjoy!

1. Wear easy access clothing so he can slip his and or…under your cotton.2. Make friends with sweat. Your pheromones are stronger and that glisten is irresistible. But, be sure to stay fresh!

3. Take it slow. Your probably tired, feeling a little lethargic. Time to work a little tantra and focus on the subtle, soft, probing motions to work your way up to climax.

4. Play with ice! Use a glass toy that’s been in the freezer for a bit or play with a fun toy like the Icegasm (like a DIY vibrating popsicle) to contrast the white hot weather.

5. Bask. You worked up quite a sweat…now relax and enjoy the post-orgasmic thrill.

Did you know saffron has been used as an aphrodisiac for ages (manually picked from the stigmas of the crocus flower, and $1,000 a pound, but that’s a chef’s matter). The divine spice with the golden color only releases its scent when heated. And my what a scent it is. In Sweden, it’s used in traditional winter baked goods called “lussekatter” and they are very yummy. (And maybe explains the incredible number of pregnant women in the summer time?) You and your lover can benefit from this delicious spice by adding a pinch to milk, then warming it up. Indulge in the aroma, drink, and have at it!

An overlooked and a taboo place to stimulate your man are his bottom (by bottom, I mean the taboo part) and his perineum (The area of skin rich in nerve endings that is located below the anus). Lo and behold, those two places are centers of intense stimulation. When making love to your man this week, throw a little of this into the mix. (Caveat: Check with him first about how he feels about having your put your finger inside him, putting your tongue there or even rubbing that part of his bum. For some men it is totally taboo. Most men I know-biblically and not-LOVE some attention there. Ask. Discover. Accept and/or compromise.)

This week, we’ll approach these two sweet spots through the act of oral sex. Slick a little lube on between your thumb and index fingers, giving you just enough glide to slide yours hands easily on skin. (You’ll be adding a massage-like move to standard oral.)

Perform oral as you most enjoy, but silde your hand so your thumb rests along his perineum and your other fingers are between his cheeks. Gently rock your hand back and forth, massage-like, gauging his pleasure by moans and feedback. If he seems to dig the anal attention, go ahead and play with the rim of his anus. If he says it’s Ok, go ahead and slide a finger in. (Note: If penetrating, use extra lube. Remember, the bottom must be seduced! It has no lube of its own. Relax him there before going at it.)
These new sensations should drive him wild. And giving pleasure is a gift unto itself.

Did you know that when you come the part of your brain that processes stress and anxiety effectively shuts down? For men, some stress can boost the libido, but for us R and R is that way to go.That said, do you ever lose an orgasm mid-way? Well, Dr. Ian Kerner writes in a Men’s Health article, “Unlike a man, a woman can lose an orgasm even as it’s happening. As her brain is shutting down, any sort of change will wake her up again. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing.” Though this is advice to men, it may illuminate why sometimes your orgasm can hang in a delicate balance when you have a million things on your mind.

This article suggests a number of tips for men related to relaxation and orgasm, to take your O into your own hands, have some tricks up your sleeve to relax.

Think of orgasm as meditation. If indeed our brain does shut down a certain part, then perhaps you want to have a “happy place” you go to when you’re climbing towards orgasm. It may be harder to jolt you out of happy place than the room where the dirty laundry is piling up.

Take some time to unwind. Relax yourself in preparation for sex. A hot bath with lavender oil might just work every time.

Reconnect with intimate times. Your libido might just get a kick from looking at holiday photos or snaps of happy, unstressed times with your partner.

Talk about your stress or anxiety with your partner, a good friend or a therapist. Whichever works best for you.

The bottom line is, I’m assuming you’re still attracted to him but the million-strong to-do list is driving you to tears. Sometimes, counterintuitive though it seems, slowing down and taking time is the best way to get results in the stressful hours.