How do you deal with your feelings about your partner’s previous romantic relationships, especially when they remain friends? Are you feeling super-irked whenever your boyfriend mentions a friend that he once used to date? And even though you have met his ex, who is in a seemingly happy relationship, you still can’t help feeling a little jealous and insecure whenever they talk? Once feelings of insecurity and jealousy surface, it’s a short jump to negative and self destructive behavior. These emotions can cause major stress to your otherwise healthy relationship. Here’s some advice on how to snap out of it.

1. Talk to your man. Let him know the emotions you feel when this person(s) comes up. He should be saying all the things to reassure you that there is no need to worry.

2. Let go and trust him. Realize you can’t control him.

3. More importantly, realize that it doesn’t matter who your partner dated. Without these previous experiences, he would not be the man you love today. All of our previous relationships color who we are in our current relationships.

4. Love them for who they are, not who you want them to be. You’ll be stronger as a couple and have fewer wrinkles.

Read this for some more general tips on how to be stress free!

In “Relationship Sabotage, The walls that get in our way, and how to break them down…” Advice.Love Detour.com gives us a very good breakdown of what the challenges are when facing this kind of counterproductive behavior in a relationship. LA Love Coach writes, “It’s all about self worth and why “this great catch” would want this “imperfect human being”. Not only is this self-sabotaging behavior destructive to the relationship, it’s hurtful to both parties and gets in the way of allowing the relationship to flourish”. I have personally been in a situation like this where the person I was dating kept sabotaging the relationship because they’re self esteem was very low. This behavior can sometimes be an obstacle you don’t get over. Read the rest of the article to get more information on how to better deal in this type of situation.

Ever wonder how that sweet man or woman could have ever said such hurtful things just a moment ago? One minute, you are whispering sweet words of affection, smiling, everything is wonderful - amazing even…. A few moments later, something is said or done and the next thing you know, you and your partner are screaming and berating each other, By the time either of you figure out that this wasn’t your intention - it’s too late.

“Many of us take a fight-or-flight approach to conflict, sometimes only to make our point stick. You and your future partner are on the same side of the same team, which is difficult to remember when you are in a heated argument” says Nancy Pina, author of How To Create Relationship Success.

You must approach sensitive issues with sensitivity. You must approach each other with love and never forget what’s important - You love each other.
Pina says, “Each has the responsibility to resolve issues around emotional buttons.”

Read the rest.

Ps. The faster you get past the conflict, the sooner you get to the hot make-up sex.

Wearing the right pair of jeans can make you feel sexy and confident. With so many Jean trends out there, it’s important not to forget to source out the jeans that are the best fit for YOUR figure. Here are 3 tips you should consider when shopping for those sexy jeans!

1) Clean silhouette. Sexy = hour glass. Men love curves, but even thoughthe muffin top has become a popular look, it’s not sexy. End of story. Maybe low-rise isn;t the fit for you. Choose your jean syle like this: If he were to reach around and grab you around your hips, will he be squeezing a smooth curve or a fistful of flesh pushed up by a ill-fitting waistband? Don’t add extra curves with poor fit! Add curves by maximizing your assets. Keep in mind, Sofia Loren would never sport a muffin top!

2) Buy them tight. For skin-tight fit, make sure you buy jeans one size too tight so when they stretch, they don’t go baggy.

3) No matter your shape or size, there is a perfect jean for you. Listen to your body, as your shape will do most of the talking here and tell you what feels right. Find the jeans that will hug your body in all the right places.

Keep these points in mind and you’ll strut with confidence!

Is this patch the key amping your libido? Or are sensual enhancement products, like those infused with pheromones, akin to old wives’ tales. Apparently, this patch mimics dopamine, a happy chemical produced during stages of infatuation. So, you’re supposed to feel sexier and generally better. But does it work?

I had a friend who never left the house on a date without rubbing her wrists in a lilac bush…she always got the opportunity to go on a second date. (She was gorgeous and charming too, but it was the LILACS I swear.) What do you think? Hoax or personal aphrodisiac?

And for you mommies, new and veteran mammas, the Fourth may leave you wishing our country got its independence during a month where you have to wear at least four layers of clothing…but being a mommy can also mean being sexy. Here’s a little video to support that point.

Sex, sexuality, and seduction are all well and good…when you  know what to do with them. But, as is easily observed when walking through any shopping area, young girls are increasingly targeted by suggestive advertising. Take a look at your daughter’s Bratz doll…is a leather mini, fishnets and boa really an outfit you want your child to associate with fond childhood memories? You know this blog is totally sex positive, but there is a time and a place, and a certain  level of maturity, education, and understanding that needs to come about before bombarding our daughter with sexually suggestive content. To help parents with this the YMCA created a number of short videos on how to counteract the sexual objectification of girls. The educational video series is called Early Sexualization: A Guide for Parents of Pre-Teen Girls.

Flipping through the ladies mags du jour (and strolling down to the boardwalk this weekend), summer is clearly here for keeps, until it’s out of season. Which raises some interesting seduction quandaries. For this hot season, what do we discard and what do we keep? Summer romance may warrant torrid one-night-St. Barts-stands that require a stronger come on (maybe).

Or that red pout just may be too matte for this fleshy season. Here’s a hot or not list with a few little opinions thrown in.

Hairy pits and third day legs or Hyper-groomed

Keep yourself well-groomed. That is, don’t wax until YOU feel too bare, but be aware of your commitments to the beach and your (soon-to-be or of this second) beau. I say, keep your legs and underarms clean, unless the other way is your thing, and keep the bikini line in check with your fave bikini bottom. Now facial hair is another story. Thicker brows do better in summer, if you’re doing a more natural look, but all that light will shine on your little dark chin hairs, so keep it waxed.

Poker straight hair or a Going with your hair’s natural flow.

I say Summer should be about easy, so unless your hair is totally unmanageable without hot tools, spritz a bit of salt/water solution (should be slightly saltier than tears) into your hair and scrunch for tousled beach hair. Easy, breezy, no-fuss sexy.

Red, red lips (year-round) or changing your shade to suit the season.

If you’re faithful to red,  keep it to the nighttime hours. In the day, opt for a stain or gloss.

 Direct come-ons or nuanced flirting.

Well, the beach holiday season seems to be one for fast flings. But does your flirting tactic have to change? If you’re feeling experimental and not into any games, ask for what you want directly, if it turns you on. Otherwise, nothing says take it slow like that heavy, heat and ocean breeze.

 Skin, skin, skin  or Picking your best feature and flaunting it.

Both! Dress sexy in the summer by showing off your best assets: Young, beautiful, tanned, moisturized, not over-baked skin and that bod you’ve been working on.

But maximize your assets. If you love your booty, let your beach cover up be a tunic that shows off your bottom and legs; a halter dress if you’re all about your shoulders and back.

Summer give you that flaunt it lee-way that isn’t really called for in Spring. Go ahead. Bare a little more. Just know when to stop.

America’s favorite sex columnist is not me. Nope. Sorry. But Dan Savage. (What a hunk, huh?) Now here’s a guy with a wide, open mind and sexually sane way of thinking who fields difficult questions from how to deal with fetishes to sex and disability. Informed, intelligent and up-to-the-minute, this may even be a great resource for moms who have more…intricate questions about that birds and bees talk that’s waiting to happen. Enjoy exploring! Don’t forget to check out his books…this one might float your boat:

How can we talk Helen without Hugh? Looking at these two powerful people in the business of selling titillation and sexy, one thing seems to hold true. A great sense of style, a strong mind, a liberal idea of freedom, and true conviction. It’s not just “sexy summer make up,” but, darlings, it seems to be that Darwinian way of the world. It’s the survival of the fittest out there. What does fittest mean to you?

Meanwhile, here’s a great profile on Hef from Salon.com. Sexy is also informed. So know your cultural icons, ladies. In the words of a great pessimist, when your looks fade, at least you’ll have your scintillating faculties of conversation, rabid intelligence and biting wit…an aphrodisiac at any age, with any body type.