(image from the new Joy of Sex)

Here’s a depressing fact of the day, straight from the Kinsey Institute, a research center for gender, sex, and reproduction.

Contemporary women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts because they have so little uncommitted time.

Come on ladies…let’s make more time for ourselves. When the author of the newly re-released Joy of Sex says she’s glad she’s not 10 years younger because of all the pressure generations X and Y have…it’s time to take a hint and destress. From the Huffington Post:

“I’m glad I’m not ten years younger because there are an awful lot of pressures on young people: to look fabulous; to have a fabulous sex life,” Susan Quilliam, the author, says. “We’re living in a world where it’s important to achieve and whether we have a good sex life has become one of our measures of personal validity. Alex Comfort [the original author of the Joy of Sex] took the emphasis off achievement - that is one of the many things he got right.”

Look for the revised book in January 2009, or order it from Amazon UK Sept. 1.

Sex toys are a wild and wonderful world of products. Now, there is a lot of chaff to be sorted from the wheat (and that’s why I’m here, a little, and why this comprehensive book is here too). Regardless, this  is a great guide to figuring out how to use them well and proper. I mean, before I started reviewing the stuff, it hadn’t even occurred to me what pleasures awaited…or I was buying not-so-good product…or didn’t know how to use it. It’s not always that easy to figure stuff out…like the Cone (below).

In a nutshell, the book ToyGasms includes:

• Sexy instructions on every sex toy out there
• Over 40 toy-techniques for mind-blowing orgasms
• No-blush secrets to introduce your lover to hot toy-play
• How to hide your toys from prying eyes

(hand-made wooden toys from NobEssence) 

“Ecobabes might be a city species, but while I let you sit in the same silence that quieted our car, I’ll tell you that being an ecosexual isn’t just for college kids, humpy UC Berkeley law professors or PR flacks trying to sex up climate change. Anyone can green up their sex toy collection, have eco-friendly sex, and even with all those toxic sex toys, make a positive impact on their orgasms, their conscience and — yes — the environment.”

Violet Blue (left) wrote this in a fantastic article in the San Francisco Gate about going green in the bedroom. Seems to be an increasing trend. Sex toy manufacturers, in fact, are going greener by making better quality products that last longer.

Well, Violet tells us all about greening you sex life with a few helpful hints.

You’re in love, married and coming on a regular basis. It’s good, but you’re just not THRILLED. Here are some ways to hot up the bedroom with a partner who feels like your favorite slippers, but whom you want to feel like your favorite stilettos sometimes.1. Communication. If you’re getting the “laugh it off” response, be happy. He didn’t say no. He’s probably just a little out of his comfort zone. Consider that he may be feeling vulnerable and stick to this tenet for couples communication: PCS. Positive. Concrete. Specific. This is how you should talk about sensitive subjects. Not “I feel xyz,” but “I want to try this position next time” or “I bought a toy that I’d like you to use on me,” etc.

2. Take initiative. Spontaneity is a great way to start the spicing up of things. He may feel nervous about (you name it), but if you initiate and he makes good experiences (even if the neighbor walks in on you two in the laundry room…you can still laugh it off.) doing more daring things, he may feel inspired. At the very least, new experiences with daring things mean you can start to push the bar.

3. Push the Boundaries. Building on number 2, buy a toy, use your tongue on his perineum or anus, tickle him, blindfold him, show up in nothing but a jacket and racy lingerie. Rock your sex appeal.

4. Find out what HE wants in bed. Here’s an article that may help. What does he really want in bed?

Whatever shape your sex goddess takes, work it, girl. She’s inside you ready to thrill!

It’s hot, but that doesn’t mean you’re not horny. Babeland knows this an sympathizes. Maybe that’s why they knocked out this list: 10 Ways to Get Off with a Waterproof Vibe. From the sprinklers to the shower, you go girl!

1. Sing in the Shower

A vibrator in the shower gives you reason to sing! If you share your living space with others, the shower can provide an oasis of privacy. Behind a locked door with the water running, the shower is the perfect place to enjoy vibrators discreetly. The aptly named ShowerBabe is a two-speed slimline that can be hung on a hook in the shower.

2. Get Wet and Wild Outside

Waterproof toys are great for outdoor adventures. If you love backpacking, camping, rafting, or kayaking, there’s no reason to leave your vibrator at home. The Babelight is a multi-tasking wonder. It’s an all-in-one keychain, flashlight, and waterproof vibe!

3. Indulge in a Sensual Retreat

Sometimes nothing is more relaxing and rejuvenating than a hot bath. Create a sensual retreat from the day’s worries by lighting candles and locking the bathroom door. Add one of our aromatic Babeland Body Bath Fizzies to the water. To set the mood, light up some of our Babeland Massage Candles, for ambiance as well as a footrub!

4. Slip ‘n Slide Adult-Style

One of our favorite sex toys is lube, because it really can make the difference between so-so sex and sensational sex.  Eros Lube is a miracle of modern technology; it’s a hypoallergenic, super-slick lube that even stays slippery underwater. It’s the most popular lube for use in hot tubs. Whether you’re soaking solo or looking forward to the hot tub in the honeymoon suite, Eros is the lube for you.

5. Learn to Squirt (and not with a plastic gun)

Waterproof toys are especially handy for women who ejaculate. Whether you’re new to squirting or regularly soak the sheets, you can enjoy all that satisfying wetness without worrying about ruining your favorite vibe. The Orchid G is a classic G-spot toy. It features a firm curve, convenient handle, and a vibrator located in the tip of the toy that’s great for clitoral stimulation. The Princess is another fabulous vibe for G-spot stimulation in the tub. Made of pliant PVC, it’s the ideal for folks who like a lighter touch on their G-spot.

6. Heat Things Up in the Hot Tub

Hot tubs are popular locales for erotic play. They comfortably hold two or more people, the bubbles can disguise all sorts of naughty teasing, and the jets hold intriguing orgasmic possibilities for women. Increase your hot tub fun with I Rub My Duckie, a powerful vibrator that masquerades as an innocent rubber ducky. Or take the Sonic Ring for a test drive; it’s a  waterproof vibrating cockring that’s easy to slide over a penis or dildo. It’s great for solo or partner sex!

7. Skinny Dip—Alone or With Friends

Skinny dipping is an incredibly sensual and exciting experience. Whether you’re swimming in your own backyard, a remote hot spring, or your local swimming hole, you can give yourself some extra thrills by bringing along a waterproof vibe. Both the Mini Heartbreaker and the Berman Athena are small, quiet, and easy to throw in the bottom of your bag in case you encounter the perfect opportunity to bare all.

8. Pump It Up

Although pumps are well known for use on penises, vacuum pumps, like our deluxe hand Pump and Cylinders, can also be used on nipples, clits, and other sensitive bits. To prepare for pumping, turn yourself on first by taking a bath or shower. Some people enjoy pumping while in the bath. Just disconnect the cylinder from the pump before submerging because the pump itself is not waterproof!

9. Upgrade an Old Favorite

Some waterproof vibrators differ only slightly from their non-waterproof counterparts. In a lot of waterproof toys, a small rubber gasket ensures that the battery compartment remains safe and dry. If you love the classic design of slimline or bullet vibrators, check out waterproof versions like the Water Shimmer or the Grapevine Vibe and take a new version of your old favorite toy to places you’ve only dreamed of.

10. Come Clean

One of the best reasons to love waterproof toys is the simplest: they’re a snap to clean. If you hate high-maintenance toys and materials, a waterproof toy is perfect for you. Dump your toys in the sink, scrub until you’re satisfied, and rinse them right under the faucet. No fuss! The Blueberry Buzz is a variation on the popular slimline design and one of our most popular sellers.

Our intrepid She Knows sexperts keep on finding ways to makes things a little hotter and better in the bedroom (from Sexual Sins to the 8 Things No One Tells). Jennifer Benjamin just came up with one move for every year you earned until you could incorporate champagne into your bedroom play.

 Here are the first two…you know, because I’m a tease like.

Back in high school, you probably had rules for how far you’d go: under the shirt, over the pants, and so on. Well, the teenage you was on to something. “It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other over your underwear, teasing and stroking through the fabric,” says sex coach Patti Britton, Ph.D. “You’re building up the anticipation, so when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it’ll be that much more explosive and exciting.”

But I won’t leave you hanging so read the full 21 here.

Do you accidentally leak when you sneeze/laugh/etc.? This is quite common when you have just given birth. But it doesn’t have to stay that way and you can prevent it in the first place by strengthening the muscles of your pelvic floor. Like the athletic child/teenager who laid a fine foundation for fine muscular tone as an adult, women can keep their selves taut down there by doing Kegel exercises. Ben wa balls, if you want an toy to use while exercises, are like dumb bells for your sweet bits. Here’s how to do Kegels (from a SheKnows article):

The target area for Kegels is called the pubococcygeus, or PC, and it can be tricky to find. While urinating, try to slow or stop the flow without using the muscles in your abdomen, buttocks, or legs. Concentrate on tightening the muscles around the opening of the vagina, pulling inward and upward.

As with any workout, consistency is the key to success with Kegels.

I found this great article on giving a handjob…Thank you, Sarah Katherine Lewis. Read on ladies and rekindle the chaste passion of high school.
Guys, stop reading here. You already know how to give a good hand job. Most of you have been giving yourselves hand jobs since you first sprouted pubes, and some of you have gone on to trade advanced techniques with special friends. That’s awesome —but like chick flicks, Luna Bars, and Rabbit vibrators, this one’s for the ladies.

So a good hand job involves three things: lubrication, friction, and rhythm. Guys aren’t that different from girls—they just have more square inches of skin to work with. Think of his penis as a giant clit, and you’re halfway there!

Start by making sure you have a pump-top bottle of lube or lotion within easy reach. Nothing stops a hand job cold like having to go into the other room to search for more Astroglide when your partner’s almost ready to blast off. Guys appreciate unscented stuff—so ladies, save the flowery hand lotion for yourself and go with plain-jane unflavored lube for him. Keep the entire theatre of operations slippery, from his balls to the tip of his johnson, and remember to add more from the pump-top bottle if the lube starts getting sticky.

The number-one hand job complaint I’ve heard from my male friends is that women tend to use too light a stroke. Men aren’t fragile and most of them like strong sensation, so massage firmly, as if you’re rubbing his bicep. If you have enough lube, the pressure of your hand wrapped around his business will feel wonderful—so squeeze it like a roll of cookie dough, and work it like Play-Doh. Remember, most guys have been whacking off since childhood—they’re used to their own strong, manly grip.

Experiment with making an O with the thumb and forefinger of one hand and using that to constrict the base of his penis, then using your other hand to stroke up and down. Voila—you’ve just made your very own flesh cock-ring! Or use one hand to play with his balls, and use the other hand to stroke. Either way, he’ll definitely appreciate a two-handed approach.

The final part of the hand job is rhythm. Find one, and stick to it. Up, down, up, down, up down; repeat until done. Penises are simple creatures: don’t confuse them with fancy moves. Just like us, dudes need a rhythm they can count on. Instead of varying your tempo drastically, try varying your pressure—or try concentrating on the sensitive tip, right under the head where the little web of skin is. But don’t stop and start, or switch abruptly from super-slow to super-fast: steady gets the job done, with (perhaps) a little more speed and pressure at the very end.

Speaking of the end: like peanut butter and chocolate, most breast-loving guys consider tits and a hand job to be the two great tastes that taste great together. Most dudes sincerely appreciate the opportunity to present you with a pearl necklace as a reward for a (hand) job well done, so if you’re game, allow him to finish between your breasts. For extra points, make sensual eye contact with him while rubbing his man-batter into your skin. Porno chicks do this and it drives guys nuts (and you can always discreetly towel off later).

Talking to a lube manufacturer today, he gave me a great little tip on finding out if the lube you’re browsing will irritate you down there… Take a little sample of it and rub it on  your gums.

He said gum tissue is rather similar to the sensitive membranes and tissue of your vagina.

If you don’t have a negative reaction in your mouth, you probably won’t have a reaction in your woo.

You’re tired, the kids are driving you nuts…try this position.

Lay flat on your stomach with your legs together. Have your man rub your neck, shoulders, back, massaging the tension out of your body. Using a little lube, he should massage your buttocks, slowly opening you up for insertion. You’ll feel extra tight to him and he’ll be hitting you in all your sweet spots.