Flirting in Sweden Part 3

 Dating Doesn’t Exist.

Nope. Dating is a quaint American invention whereby people create an artificial situtation for intimacy in order to assess the relationship compatibility.

“Date” like a Swede like this:

So, you’ve spotted a guy. It’s likely you know him through some friend. You probably will see him at a party or just about town off and on. So, how does a Swede get from hot stranger to holding hands?

Tap your friend base. When you get introduced through friends, it’s more likely you have something in common, and there’s a grounding of respect and responsibility. You’re not going to make your friend look bad by treating their friend poorly, are you?

Getting to know him as a friend first seems to be the M.O. It’s a short, possibly revolutionary statement. Without the concept of dating ingrained in the culture, romance seems to have alot of pressure taken off it’s shoulder to blossom according to the first, second, third date rules/timeline.

A dear friend here recently told me, “The biggest mistake I make is kissing him too soon. I skip all the important parts because I get so seduced by passion. The greatest gift we can give to ourselves romantically is taking our time.”

And the funny thing is, when you’ve not-dated, flirted, gotten to know him, all that exilheration has built up and it’s a little easier to jump into a relationship…you’ve already done a bunch of the partner-compatibility assessment without the pressure of dating.