Position of the Month: No Sex?

Is a short spell intended celibacy the secret to better sex? To breaking a mundane routine? Read Colleen Oakley’s story for the dish on what happens with 30 days of no nookie.

30 Days Without Sex

 When I told my boyfriend I wanted to give up sex for 30 days, he hooted with laughter. But the process was anything but funny.

“So when you say ‘no sex’ for 30 days, what does that mean, exactly?”

I’m on the phone with Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Sex Detox, which suggests stepping away from the hot stuff for a month to revive a sex life that’s grown yawn-inducing or otherwise “toxic.”

I wouldn’t call the sex I have with my boyfriend, Fred, “toxic”: We’ve had a healthy amount with lots of texture (from start-the-week-off-right sex to the Wednesday-night reconnectors to a few all-day Saturday sessions). But after a year-and-a-half, even a good thing can feel routine. Why not try something that promises to make sex better — even if it means not having it at all?

In his nearly 10 years of counseling bedroom-challenged couples, Kerner has found that taking sex off the table helps couples focus on aspects of the relationship they never paid attention to before. “Most things that happen — or don’t happen — during sex have nothing to do with sex,” he says. Read the rest.